Archive for ‘beauty’

September 28, 2012

A few of my favorite things

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Pretty sure I’ve used that title for a post before. Deal with it, suckas.

In case you’ve tried to wear flip flops outside recently (and you don’t live somewhere without seasons, like California), you’ve noticed that autumn is upon us. You’ve probably noticed your local ‘bucks adding Pumpkin Spiced Lattes (barf) and Salted Caramel Mochas (gimme) to their menus.

So, in the spirit of the seasons a-changin’, I’ve put together some of my favorite cold-weather-ish things. I will also answer some questions you asked in my previous posts.

February 14, 2011

I have VD lips

 

Ohhhh, VD jokes are never not funny to me. Anyway, just in time for your hot date tonight (with Brad Womack, if you know what’s good for you), here’s my new favorite way to get all tarted up. See, when you’re on t.v. they tell you to wear lipstick because the lights wash you out. So obviously I had to whip out every lip stain and stick I own to find the perfect shade. Hot pink. For VD. {Also, speaking of being on t.v., you can watch me and my mom here. And keep your eyes peeled for a bridesmaid Molly cameo or two, AND look for my awkward facial expressions because I had no idea where to look when I wasn’t talking.}

February 4, 2011

MAKEUP!!!!!!!!

How about a break from the OMG-MY-BOOK-IS-FOR-SALE-DON’T-YOU-LOVE-MEEEE posts? Because for serious, blotchy skin and zits don’t give a crap about whether or not I have a book out. Right. So. PEOPLE. My life, it has been changed. I’ve talked before about how I don’t have the best skin in the world…and that fact has never been so apparent as it is right now, while I’m continually drying it the hell out with sub-zero winter air, then slathering it with goopy moisturizer. Recipe for disaster. Luckily, a little lady known as Julia came to the rescue a couple of weeks ago.

Okay, enough talk. Here’s the magic potion:

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November 28, 2010

Ho!

Ho, indeed. It’s finally time to start making a list and checking it twice. If I were rich, I would make high-end stockings for all of my girlfriends and stuff them with the following. Since Dave would implode if he saw how much such a stocking would cost per person, I’ll have to limit myself to giving single items to my ladies. Still, a girl can dream…and share her dreams with her lovely readers (that’s you!). These are a few of my favorite things…I give each and every one of ’em the Wiggs seal of approval.

 

1. L’Occitane Amande milk concentrate lotion and shower oil. ($40.90 and $22.00, respectively) I own both of these and they blow my mind on a regular basis. I smell so good that I get strangers approaching me on the street to compliment me. A completely and totally awesome friend turned me onto the lotion and it wasn’t long before I was impulse buying every product in the line. But the lotion and oil are the most amazing.

2. Rubis combination slant/point tweezers. ($27.50) Dave checked my Amazon Prime receipt when I got these in the mail the other day and nearly burst a capillary when he saw that they cost 30 bones. I gently told him they were replacing the old pair that I’ve had for SIX YEARS AND I HAVE NEVER FOUND THEIR EQUAL DESPITE NUMEROUS SEARCHES AND I WOULDN’T HAVE TO REPLACE THEM IF SOMEBODY HADN’T DROPPED THEM POINT-FIRST ONTO THE MARBLE FLOOR AND DULLED THEIR TIPS.

3. Molton Brown soothing hand lotion in rose granati. ($22.99) When I lived in London, I walked by Molton Brown’s flagship store every day on the way to work and eventually the smells seduced me inside. This hand lotion kills me every time. And the smell is amazing because it’s delicious while being gender neutral for the men in your life. I keep it by the t.v. and put it on after I come home from school with my hands shriveling from handling paper all day.

4. Mistral liquid hand soap in Grapefruit Red Currant. ($19.00) If you can resist eating this stuff, good on ya. It also keeps your hands soft and makes your bathroom smell like a dream.

5. Laura Mercier honey bath in creme brulee. ($40.00) I take a bubble bath every month…ahem…yeah. You know when. Also, when I get a crick in my neck, which is happening with increasing frequency as I get older. Oh, Wiggs family back problems. I was a fool to think I would avoid you. Anyway. This bubble bath also smells edible. Baxter loves it so much he jumps in with me and won’t get out, even after he’s figured out that the bubbles are hiding his arch nemesis: water. The extra bonus is that this stuff makes our skin baby soft when we get out and have to run wildly around the condo, scraping ourselves along the wall in a vain attempt to get dry.

6. Rosebud Strawberry lip balm and moisturizer. ($7.00) It does the trick. Not like my old favorite, but the cute tin makes up for it, as does the buttery texture.

7. Kinerase Hydraboost. ($75.00…ouch. But totes worth it for me.) Oh man, you guys, this crap has saved my life here in Chicago. See, in the summer, it’s so humid that you could make a living selling your nose grease to Exxon. But then the climate does a 180 on you overnight and the next thing you know, your skin is cracking open and bleeding from being so dry. My sensitive face immediately breaks out into horrible, angry, red zit-slash-raw patches and I look like I have chicken pox. Hydraboost is wonderful – it’s soothing and ultra-moisturizing but it has zero oil. Ahhh…I’m going to go slather some on right now.

8. SkinCeuticals Phyto Corrective Gel. ($49.56) Another skin saver, also introduced to me by my hatefully perfect friend. This is a good year-round treatment for red, sensitive skin. It’s great for all skin types and is perfect to put on under all of your other treatments to make your skin soak them up better. You only need 2-3 drops a day so it lasts for-EVER.

9. Illume ceramic candle in Eggnog Latte. ($20.00) This dude smells like Santa’s farts: aka, delicious holiday cookies. When I burn it, Baxter flips out because he wants to eat it, and he spends the whole time trying to decide if he’s willing to brave the flame to get a bite. So far we haven’t had any nose burns. Probably because I don’t let him get close enough to actually touch it.

10. A sweet little swan ring holder. ($29.95) Since most of these gifts don’t mix well with rings, I’d want to give my gals a ring holder so they can safely park their jewels while they lotion/lather/bathe/tweeze/etc.

Ahem. So…the total cost of these hypothetical stockings would be…$353.90. Whoopsieees.

And let’s talk about the stockings I would stuff, were I rich beyond belief, and had I already made multiple large charitable donations this year.

 

Yep. That looks about right. Those dudes will only set you back about $195 a piece. Those are so ridiculous that I can’t even fantasize about them properly. Maybe something a little more budget-friendly for this dream of mine:

 

Tharrr she blows…at 20 bones a pop, I guess I can feel less guilty about my hypothetical Christmas shopping, in the alternate dimension where my name is Oprah Stewart and I’m the love child-slash-heiress of Oprah and Martha.

[EDIT: Dave asked me, as he was reading this post and vociferously protesting the fact that he did indeed drop my tweezers on the ground, if I had been paid to write about any of these products. The answer, alas, is no. I just really love the stuff I use, I suppose. I wonder if I should show my write-ups to the people who make this stuff and see if they’ll give me some free samples. Or a check for a million dollars.]

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May 6, 2010

Moist…ure

You know how sometimes you’re having a conversation with a friend, and she says something really heavy, like “When I’m feeling lonely I eat my own hair”? And then you realize that you need to drop everything and be there for her, so you spend a couple of minutes talking about your deepest darkest emotions so she doesn’t feel alone? Maybe you share your own hair-eating experiences, like, “Oh hun, it’s okay, I eat my own hair too. Let’s help each other through it.” And maybe your friend sheds a tear or two before sniffling that you’re so great, and you’ve made her feel so much better. And then there’s nothing more to say about eating hair, so it’s time to change the subject. But the previous topic is still hanging in the air and you feel like a bad person for moving on to something less deep, like how you just bought the cutest pair of shoes at Nordstrom last week. You know what I’m talking about?

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Yeah, and that’s where we are right now. I dropped an emo bomb on your asses and now it’s like…are we really going to go back to talking about makeup and adventures in the kitchen and failed workout attempts?

Yes. Yes we are. So let’s just power through it. You people are amazing and wonderful and made me really glad I opened up to you about my shizz. In return, I’m going to use the word “moist” as much as possible in this post (fun fact about my mom: the way most people feel about the word “moist” is the way my mom feels about the word “zest.” I don’t get it but I torture her with it on the regs).

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So, moist. Why am I saying moist so much? Because you have all asked for lotion recommendations (presumably because you want your skin to be nice and moist, but not too moist, but moist enough to glow). And as a beauty product junkie, I’ve got some moist opinions. Moist.

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October 2, 2009

Purple nurple

Okay. I made it through my first official week of grad school and now I can finally get back on some sort of mother-loving schedule with you, dear readers. Yeesh. This has been the busiest couple of months of my entire life.  So, for my “I’m baaa-aaaack” post, I figured I’d alienate as many of my male readers as possible. Guys, I’m so sorry that I’m about to talk about makeup. I know some of you menfolk read The Beholder to follow my attempts at running/cooking/being awesome at life, and I tell you that you’ll be getting yours soon. Ladies, this one’s for you.

waffles and purple eyes 009

My most fashionable friend has been yammering for weeks about how purple is the new hot color for fall/winter this year. To that I say: holy flattery, Batman! EVERYONE looks good in purple! So why not schmear it all over your face while you’re wrapping yourself in amethyst-colored cable-knit sweaters and violet scarves? (Actually, most makeup artists will tell you not to match your maykee to your outfit. But I am not a makeup artist. I’m just a girl, standing in front of a mirror, asking it to make her look pretty.)

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September 20, 2009

Shop To End SMA

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Friends, I know I’ve been a spotty blogger recently and I can only promise you that classes are about to start for me, my manuscript will be handed in, and my life will settle down considerably thereafter. However, even if you’re totally fed up with me and my flakiness lately, please, please click this link and read about what you can do to help end SMA. From GwendolynStrong.com:

Our daughter, Gwendolyn, has Spinal Muscular Atrophy or SMA Type 1. SMA is the leading genetic killer of infants. It is a terminal, degenerative disease that results in the loss of nerves in the spinal cord and the weakness of the muscles connected with those nerves. SMA impacts the ability to walk, stand, sit, eat, breathe and even swallow. The mind and spirit are no different from that of a healthy baby, but the body eventually fails. Typical babies with SMA Type 1 have a life expectancy of between one and two years and they require around-the-clock medical assistance and monitoring.

I had the honor of attending the same wedding as Gwendolyn Strong and her parents recently, and in that short time I could see how much power and vitality the Strongs impart on the world. Their last name is a fitting tribute to their bond as a family.

Anyway, I’m guessing that many of you read this blog while you’re idling around the Internet, pretending to be busy with other work (that’s when I do MY blog-reading, anyway). So today, read a little bit about Gwendolyn’s story on her family’s blog, then get shopping. You know you were going to anyway. Make those purchases count, people!

FYI, here’s what I’m going to buy through ShopToEndSMA.com: the only thing that has ever fixed my blemishes overnight, the hair treatment because it makes me look like I’m in a Pantene commercial, this gift set because I SWEAR by every single product in it and they’ve never been packaged together before, this because HOLY CRAP A MINERAL MAKEUP THAT HYDRATES OMG OMG I’M DYING WITH HAPPINESS, this because it’s hilarious, and this shirt because it’s classy with just a touch of trollop (which is what I consider myself to be). …and then I will be broke. But at least I’ll know that my dollars went to help end SMA.

Mostly because I’m nosy and want to know what you’re shopping for, you tell me in the comments what you’re going to buy through ShopToEndSMA.com (make sure you include a link to the product) and I’ll give you TWO extra chances to win a KitchenAid Stand Mixer this Wednesday. That’s serious, people.

August 14, 2009

Gettin’ ready: the day before the day before the day before

Anyone who is married knows that the beautification process leading up to the wedding is a multi-day affair. Because, people, I do not naturally look as good as I did on my wedding day. Future brides, you might want to skip my next paragraph about that. Here’s a fun picture to distract you, instead:

Grand Entrance

Earmuffs, brides: All day on my wedding day, I kept saying, “Welp, this is my peak. My looks are aaaaaall downhill from here.” It made sense – OBVIOUSLY you’re supposed to set your beauty record on the day you get married, but crap, dude, now I want to look like that all the time. Oh well.

So on the Wednesday before the wedding (aka “the day before the day before the day before”), I set about putting the finishing touches on the tail-end of a loooong process I like to call Operation: Hot Bride 2009.

May 27, 2009

Ingreeds for an awesome afternoon

Random May 068

Let’s look at the list here, shall we?

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May 15, 2009

If I could remember to wear lipgloss…

Here are a couple that I would have on me at all times. It’s not that I have anything against glossy lips; it’s just that I can’t be constantly remembering to re-laquer myself every thirty minutes. I must have missed the makeup reapplication gene, just like I missed the chocolate and the dancing genes (I know, I know, I’m a pathetic excuse for a girl).

Last day in Chicago 145

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