Let’s talk about your face.

I get lots of makeup emails from you people. Even when I was on hiatus, some of you would email from time to time, asking my opinion about random things…which was flattering, considering that I am no expert. You know who is? I’m about to change your life. Click here. Watch her videos. Die with amazement.

Oh, also…since I’m not doing much photography for the blog these days, you’re going to get sick of seeing photos from various events where someone else was behind the lens. For now, all I’ve got is my mom’s wedding, and I have to crop out other people. Sorry.

Anyway, I do have a little update on my routine.

I have an hour-long commute to and from work, and I needed to come up with a foundation routine that I could accomplish in under five minutes even though I have blemishes ALL. OVER. MY. FACE. Seriously, I thought I was at least going to have a few years of good skin between puberty and wrinkles, but no. The wrinkles are starting and the blemishes just keep on rockin’ in the free world. But I’m not bitter. Because…

And boom goes the dynamite. You like how pissy I look there? This is the problem with not doing my own photography – this happens to be the only photo from my mom’s wedding where you can get an idea of how my face looked.

So here’s the plan: wake up, splash face with water. Put on eye cream. Put a dime-sized poot of Dermalogica AGE Smart SkinPerfect Primer on your fingertips. Poot? Yes. That is a unit of measurement. Smear the poot on your face.

It will even look good when you’re being horribly awkward.

Flat natural light? Eh, there’s not much you can do when your skin isn’t naturally smooth and dewy, but at least you won’t see blemishes.

The primer is not clear – it’s a pinkish-beige color that I thought would be too dark on my ghostly-pale skin, but it ends up being like a Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants miracle. Unless you have very dark skin, I’m betting this will look lovely on you. It’s a little shimmery, which is a good thing. It makes you glow. It provides just the right amount of sheer coverage to even you out without being as much work as a tinted moisturizer or foundation. This post describes the consistency pretty well.

Here’s me farting.

Right? That just has to be what I’m doing in that photo. Nothing else explains my concentrating-while-trying-to-maintain-an-air-of-casual-interest expression.

For blemishes, I use a small eyeshadow-sized brush and my ol’ favorite. I usually put a light dusting around my nose, too.

Top with translucent powder, and blush or bronzer, and maybe some extra shimmer, and you look flawless, dahling.

Here’s me humping someone.


All of these moments (minus the product shots) were captured by the amazing Sergio.


13 Responses to “Let’s talk about your face.”

  1. So glad you’re back, Wiggs. I really missed your posts 🙂

  2. Your posts never fail to crack me up! 🙂

  3. Wiggs!!! you are Crack! and not the Crack that is wack but the Crack that I’m soooo glad is back! ok – so 1) this lady Lisa is addicting – 2) do you ever use BB creams? I’ve heard great things but no one I know has tried them so I’m curious if you have – seems like it would be up your ally.

    Thanks bunches!

    • OBVIOUSLY I’ve tried the BB creams. They are definitely not the miracle that everyone seems to think they are. They’re basically tinted moisturizer, so if that’s your thing, then you’ll probably like them. I had to put it on with a brush or it was like spackle in my pores, though. Overall, in my mind, it’s the same amount of work as normal foundation without the coverage. But I have gross skin, so maybe others would disagree.

  4. That red is amazing! Please, please tell me the lipstick color you are wearing???? I must know!!! [Side note: I am really glad you are back on the blogosphere (sp?)—yay!]

  5. SO SO glad you’re back to posting.

  6. lol- nice photo captions! great makeup tips!

  7. Do you have an eye cream recommendation?? I feel at 27 maybe it’s time to start thinking about using one….but I’m intimidated by the price and overwhelming selection. thanks!

    • I DO! Maybe I’ll make a post about it. You’re right that you should start thinking about it now. Look for something with neuropeptides in it – I currently use three different ones. The one I can’t quit is Dermalogica…it’s in a silver tube. Also, SkinCeuticals makes a good one.

  8. You mentioned your mom’s wedding. I have been on hiatus too, and know nothing of your parent’s divorce or your mom’s re-marriage. If you have explained this, please forward it to me! I own your book with the white brocade cover, as well as the Quilt book. I loved them both, but I am wondering what I missed! Obviously, a lot! I am glad your mom’s happy now.
    I truly appreciated the personal note she sent ,via e-mail, when my mother died several years ago. I am just sorry I did not know she was going through “trials and tribulations”. I could have at least kept positive thoughts for her.
    Anyway– I will try to go on-line more often. I have been busy with life.
    Take care
    Helen Sorenson

    • Thanks for your thoughts, Helen. I didn’t really explain it – my parents divorced in April of 2011. It was very hard on all three of us (being an only child of divorcing parents suuuuuuucks) but my mom and my dad are both healing and working through it.


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