All’s I have to say about my run this morning is BOOYA.
I mean, you can’t really argue with running toward the sunrise over a gorgeous desert trail. I had to leave at balls o’clock because as soon as the sun comes up in St. George, the temperatures rise into the 90s and it’s dangerous to exercise outdoors. The dunes were completely empty of all people, and I was feeling all obnoxious and spiritual. I’m glad I didn’t have anyone to talk to because I would have been friggin pretentious and phonily introspective. It’s kind of hard not to feel that way, when you’re smelling the scent of desert flowers on the wind and watching the sun burnish the tops of the red buttes. See? See how I’m writing? Gag me. I can’t help it.
Even the pictures I took look like those motivational posters you always see lining the walls of most cubicley offices. This one would say: “SOLITUDE: Out here in the desert, you can fart as loud as you want because only the snakes will hear you.”
I ran down toward the river and it was amazing how easily I could feel the change in humidity as I got closer to the water. The temperatures were only in the 60s at this point, also known as PERFECT FREAKIN RUNNING WEATHER.
Then I decided that it would be a good idea to trot up into the hiking paths through the dunes to my right.
A couple of things about why I should have stuck to the paved path: a) the hills were wayyyy steeper than I anticipated. I’m sort of a hill-wimp after living in Chicago for the past nine months. b) I started thinking about how a rattlesnake would blend perfectly into the gray dust at my feet. And c) I ate an orange before my run. This might be TMI, but something about that orange made me feel like I was about to explode at both ends. Trudging up and down the hills served to intensify the feeling of urgency until all I could do was clench and pray. I’m thinking that the acid in the fruit was too much for the ol’ digestive tract – so I’ll stick to mild foods before my runs from now on. Luckily, I made it to the peak of the trail without any fudge in my shorts, and I managed to take a mini-panorama of the scene before me.
I’m annoyed because there’s no way to do justice to how pukingly gorgeous the view was. So you’ll just have to take my word for it. Also, check out the new duds!!!
That’s right, people. I got new shorts. And they are awesome. So soft, so flowy, and they even have a built-in diaper for days like today, when I toe the tootsie roll line. Here’s where you can get ’em – but they were on sale for $19.99 when I ordered them last week. I still think I’d buy them at full-price, though, because they’re flippin sweet and make my legs look skinny (which is priceless, in my book). It’s so true that having a good clothes makes a big difference in a workout – I felt like a fox the whole time, with my bewbies jostling around in my new sports bra, my cute shorts fluttering in the breeze, and my golden shoes cushioning every step.
I’m not completely sure how far I went because the miles weren’t marked and the trail is too new to look up on the Gmaps-pedometer, but I ran for 55 minutes, only stopping twice – once to take pictures and once to seriously contemplate dropping trou and leaving a Baby Ruth on the side of the trail. I’m guessing I went somewhere between 5 and 6 miles. Since the run was supposed to be a 4.5-miler, I get an extra gold star.
Have you ever had any food disasters before a run? What have you learned to avoid?