Last time, in Wiggs-n-Dave land, Wiggs was beginning to feel reeeeally sketched out by Dave. He was always absent, always taking secret phone calls, never able to spend his free time with her. She finally started wondering what the EFF was going on. And she also got a little bit feisty about the fact that they’d been together for almost three years, were planning on moving to Chicago for Dave to attend law school, and she didn’t really understand where things were going. Here’s a photograph from around that time which illustrates the level of confusion I was feeling:
Fast-forward to March 2008. Picture this conversation between my mom and me, as I strolled home from work nine days before my twenty-fourth birthday. Dave had told me that he would be working late that evening, so I planned on having a phone-marathon with my mom and then meeting some girlfriends for happy hour.
“What do you want for your birthday, honey?” she asked me.
“Well, I feel like I shouldn’t say this or I’ll jinx it…” I began, “but all I really want is for Dave to propose to me.”
I could hear my mom snort. “He’s not going to,” she said in her most matter-of-fact, I-know-everything voice. “Trust me. I would know. Your father is incapable of keeping a secret from me, and he hasn’t said a word about a proposal.”
“But…maybe Dave’s just being really secretive…?”
“Nope. Sorry, hun. We’ll just have to work on him this summer.” With that statement, she embarked on one of her classic Susan Wiggs-style lectures on all of the ways we would subtly guide Dave into asking me to marry him. Here’s a picture of me and my mom looking suuuuper manipulative together:
Some of the suggestions she had for me included a conference call with his mother, a forced-march to the jewelry store, an ultimatum, or, her favorite, “Just blame it on me! Tell him that I’m not comfortable with you guys living in Chicago together if he hasn’t proven his commitment to you.” Of course this last one was bogus; my parents loved Dave like a son already. But my mom writes about romance for a living. She knows the right buttons to push to get results.
Still, I hesitated. I didn’t want to push My One into doing something that he wasn’t comfortable with. My mom kept jabbering away with more ideas for Project Proposal, but as she gained momentum I kind of started tuning her out.
But wait, there’s more!!! …next time.