Archive for March 14th, 2009

March 14, 2009

Half-marathon training: Day 13

Barkis and I are in a fight.

My mama took pics as we trotted away

My mama took pics as we trotted away

I decided to take him for my four-mile run today. It started off fine (see above). But then, about a mile in, we were passing one of the island’s most popular cafes and he decided to stop short and plop a steaming turd on the pavement in front of all of the people eating lunch.

Unfortunately, since we were going at a pretty good clip before the poo incident, I tripped on the leash and toppled to the ground, rolling until my face was within inches of the chocolatey pile he had just left. Humiliated, I stood up and began to brush my legs off. I heard a couple of people yell out and ask if I was okay, but I pretended I couldn’t hear and limped away – but not before I heard some asshole screech, “HEY, aren’t you gonna scoop that up?!” This is a small island so I didn’t flip him the bird. But I should have. Then – horror of horrors – I noticed that Barkis had a small dingleberry clinging to his ‘tocks. I won’t detail how I got rid of it for him, but let’s just say that my gloves are in the trash.

About half a mile later, I looked down and saw that my hand was bleeding from the fall, so I felt pretty hardcore about the whole thing.

It was perrrfect running weather

It was perrrfect running weather

So…my reason for being glad I ran today…it’s hard to come up with one when I spent the whole four miles trying to keep Barkis from peeing on every bush and sniffing every bird dropping on the ground. Still…I guess I’m glad that I managed to keep going despite having my face rubbed in dookie. Plus, this was my longest run ever on my own, so I’m pretty proud of that. And it’s only going to get more intense!

Don’t forget to enter The Beholder’s first contest! I’m surprised I’ve only gotten a few entries – this is your chance to be famous! (Sort of.) How about you enter just to be nice? Pretty please?

Also, congratulations to Meghan, who completed her first ever triathlon today! I’d just like to point out that her running time – after she swam and biked – was faster than I could ever go, even if I rested up beforehand. Balls to the wall!

March 14, 2009


***UPDATE: when you’re done reading this post, make sure you read Part Deux for more exercises!***

When I was on swimteam, I had great abs. They were flat but didn’t look hard and manly. More importantly, they were strong as EFF. If somebody put their face against my stomach and I flexed, they would get a black eye. (not really, but I could do just about any ab exercise till the cows came home – which made me a much better athlete)

Step 1: Pick your wedgie

Step 1: Pick your wedgie

I’ve started doing my old ab routine once more, and I’m astonished that it used to be easy for me. It’s balls-hard! Still, whether you’re an athlete or just trying to get healthy, strong abdominal muscles are key. They’ll help you have better posture and form, and prevent injury. (I should note that my mom was taking these pics without her glasses on, so some of them are blurry – but you’ll get the point.)

One more thing before we get started: I am not in good shape right now. My form is NOT perfect in these pictures, but hopefully you will get an idea of what you’re supposed to look like while doing these exercises. And you’ll see that these are not very flattering photographs, so you better be grateful that I put them up at all.

Without further ado: How Swimmers Get Nice Abs (Or: You’re Going to be Abs-olutely GORGEOUS, Dah-ling)

Click here to see the exercises!

March 14, 2009

Cramer versus Stewart: Who won?

Thoughts? Comments?

I’m on Team Stewart. (Although take that for what it’s worth – I would have been on Team Stewart even if I watched the whole interview on mute. He’s just dreamy.)

p.s. Don’t forget to enter my very first contest! You can have a character in my mom’s next best-seller named after you (or someone of your choosing)!