The Bachelor

I can’t write about this without spoiling it because I am FREAKING OUT SO MUCH, so only read more if you’ve already seen the show.

I can't even come up with a caption that won't reveal something.

I can't even come up with a caption that won't reveal something.


What a scum bag. I’m pretty confident that every woman in America despises Jason Mesnik right now.

To recap: Jason ended up choosing the lovely, sweet Melissa from Texas. He PROPOSED TO HER with a weird-looking Neil Lane diamond ring.

She also has gorgeous teeth

She also has gorgeous teeth

Then six weeks later, during the taping of the “After the Final Rose” show, he dumped Melissa and asked Molly (also a bright, cute girl) to come back to him. She said yes.

She also has very nice teeth.

She also has very nice teeth.

Now, look, I was rooting for Melissa because she seemed like a bubbly, fun person and she was more open with her emotions in front of the cameras. But that’s neither here nor there. I’m shocked at Jason’s idiotic, selfish, self-indulgent decision to take his poor fiance on national television and dump her. She was still wearing the ring when she sat down on the couch with him. She had no idea what was coming. She was (understandably) angry, and I have so much respect for the grace with which she withstood his childish attempts to explain himself. At one point, he said (paraphrasing) “I can’t control the way I feel.” No, Jason, but you CAN control how you choose to conduct yourself. You don’t have to humiliate your fiance on television, and you certainly don’ t have to jump straight into another relationship MINUTES later. It broke my heart to hear Melissa in the limo saying that she’s not angry; just hurt.

Also, Jason kept talking about how the “chemistry” was different between Melissa and him. WTF does that mean? Dave thinks it’s got something to do with the action (or lack thereof) between the sheets. I think that might be a good assumption.

The most horrible part of the dump-sesh was when Melissa told Jason (again, another paraphrase) “Getting engaged was a once-in-a-lifetime experience for me. You took that from me.” So true! Getting engaged was the happiest, most amazing moment of my life! I can’t imagine having that memory stolen from me by a jerk like Jason.

Immediately after dumping Melissa, Jason came out and asked Molly if she would get back together with him. Awkward make-out sesh ensued.

Here are my three thoughts on the entire b.s.-fest:

1. Jason showed his true colors: he has no backbone, no CLUE what he wants, and doesn’t respect either of the women whose hearts he broke. He was just hoping that by crying a lot and looking earnestly into Melissa’s eyes, he would somehow magically hide his complete and total lack of class. A real man would have a) broken up with Melissa in private and saved her the humiliation of having the rug pulled out from under her on television, and b) rekindled his relationship with Molly only after he had sorted his heart and his head out. And he DEFINITELY wouldn’t have gone from taking the engagement ring back from his fiance to making out with his new girlfriend on a couch in front of Chris Harrison.

Chris Harrison, host of The Bachelor

Chris Harrison, host of The Bachelor

2. SPEAKING of Chris Harrison, can somebody tell the dude to stop interrupting his interviews just when they start to get juicy? Chris: “Jason, do you still love Molly?” Jason: “…yes.” Chris: “Molly, what are you thinking? Do you still I have feelings for him?” Molly: “I…uh…” ::looks down, eyes filled with tears, to gather her thoughts:: Molly: “I….” Chris: “AND WE’LL BE RIGHT BACK.” By the time they COME back, Molly’s all collected and has had time to rehearse her response ten times while Jason got the beads of sweat blotted from his forehead by the makeup team. Another example: just as Melissa started to really get emotional and to tell Jason off (which he deserved), Chris jumped in and said, “Well, emotions are running high right now…let’s take a moment to calm down.” I don’t watch these sorts of shows for their calming properties, Chris! Good lord. Get it straight.

3. Ultimately, it’s clear that The Bachelor needs to change its format. Of the 18 couples they’ve had on The Bachelor and The Bachelorette, only one pair remains married. Another pair recently got back together. That’s it. I think they need to find ways to make the set-up for the show more realistic. The bachelor needs to have more time with each girl, and the producers need to figure out how to get the cameras out of everyone’s faces. When the cameras are on you, it’s hard to think straight – you’ll let yourself be convinced into doing anything, no matter how much it conflicts with who you are or what you value. The show has become too much of a circus. I don’t know if I’ll watch The Bachelor again.


Who am I kidding? Of course I will. What did you think of The Bachelor? Are you as enraged as me?

[…and here ends my rant. Now back to our regularly-scheduled blogging.]


One Comment to “The Bachelor”

  1. LOL! Oh, Wiggs, you make me smile!

    I haven’t watched the show for several seasons, but I watched a bit last night because I think a friend of mine has his kid in preschool.

    When the limo pulled away with Molly inside, I said, “oh, honey, you are so lucky he didn’t pick you.” I also thought Molly set his relationship with Melissa up to fail by telling him that he’d made a huge mistake that he’d regret ~ master manipulator that one.

    My own old lady hunch is that Jason wanted the between the sheets action with Molly and the step mother qualities of Melissa in one person which is, quite frankly, most men’s fantasies. . .hence the lyrics “behind closed doors.”

    My prediction is that Molly will have her moment in the sun and dump his sorry behind.

    Both these women should have listened to Shelley Winters and had lunch with Jason’s ex-wife. There’s a reason that man is a single dad.

    They should also listen to you, Wiggs, and tell themselves “i AM the beholder.”

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