Archive for March, 2009

March 31, 2009

Half-marathon training: Day 29

My Dave pointed out that today was officially 4 weeks into my half-marathon training! Woot! You know, I don’t usually look forward to Mondays, but since I’ve been following Hal Higdon’s training plan, I get excited for Mondays because they’re my stretch/strengthen days.

And man, today’s workout was totally freakin’ awesome. I ended up being busy all day with work (hence the Latey McLaterson post), so when Dave came home from class I still hadn’t pumped any iron. People, I don’t know how or why, but I was hit by the best idea of all time: we would do Wiggs-n-Dave’s 30 Day Shred!!!


I should note that I had to tint my picture ORANGE to even come close to Jillian's tan...clearly I need to get a different photo-editing program than PowerPoint.

Listen to me! Here’s how to do your next workout. Don’t question me. Just do it:

Step 1: Get a stopwatch.

Step 2: Decide how long you want to work out (we went the Jillian Michaels route and did 20 minutes)

Step 3: Grab a workout buddy or two, or, if you’re on your own, write 20 exercises on slips of paper and jumble them all in a bowl. Each minute of your workout, you must do a different exercise move. If you’ve got a buddy with you, take turns surprising each other with your next move. If you’re on your own, pull a slip of paper out of the bowl to see what you’ll be doing next.

It was so much fun! I loved not knowing what was coming. It was fun to think to myself “now I’m going to do a reeeeally hard one and KILL Dave!” or “Alright, alright, I’ll go easy on him and do reverse curls.” We did so many different moves that I can’t remember them all, but here are some highlights: tricep dips, plank, upright rows, side lunges, squat jumps, skipping in place, leg lifts, pushups, flutter kicks…

When 20 minutes were over, I was sweating like a whore in church, but I was having so much fun that I totally could have gone for another 10 minutes. Next Monday, I’m going to try doing the Wiggs-n-Dave Shred on my own, with slips of paper in a bowl. I’m already excited!

…and that, my friends, marks the first whole month of training for your favorite little Wiggs.

March 30, 2009

Makeup review tiiiiime!!!

When I tell people I have an addiction to makeup, they usually laugh and shake their head at me, as if to say “Yeah, I totally know what you mean. I love makeup too.” Many women have said to me, “I have, like, an entire DRAWER full of makeup!”

My response usually goes something like this: “My child,” I say solemnly, sighing. “You don’t know the half of it.” Then I take the person by her trembling hand and lead her to my chest. My chest full of makeup. “An entire drawer, you say?” I ask. “I have two entire drawers devoted to each individual part of my face – eyes, lips, cheeks, face – plus two more drawers of miscellaneous products and free samples.”

These are only four of the drawers on my chest.

These are only four of the drawers on my chest.

It’s sad, my friends. I have a problem. But if it’s wrong, I don’t wanna be right! I love makeup (or, as I call it, “maykee”) and I love having lots of it and I love gazing at it even when I’m not using it. I love it. If someone asked me to hold all of my makeup at once, I would be physically unable because it weighs over 100 pounds. I know this because when we moved out here, I had two suitcases and a bag devoted to makeup, and they had to be weighed before we could take them on a train.

So I figured, since I own all of this shizz, why not start reviewing it? Each time I do a makeup review, I will pick one product that I LOVE and one that was a disappointment. Some of these (like the two I’ll be reviewing today) have been in my makeup chest for years; others will be new-fangled products that are just making a splash on the cosmetics scene. If there’s anything that you’ve been thinking about trying but aren’t sure about, ask me first. Odds are, I’ve already bought it in three shades.

This review showcases a FAB blush and a lip gloss that everyone pretends to love, but I think they’re just putting on a show because it was so expensive (just like True Religion jeans, and don’t even TRY to convince me that they’re cute because they’re NOT).

Heeeeere comes the maykeeeeee!

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March 30, 2009

Want to hang out in Chicago for the summer?

If you know of someone (maybe yourself?!) who’s looking for housing in Chicago this summer, click here! (There’s a full photo tour in the ad link, too.)

Yep, we’re renting out our place. And it’s awesome. I’m not kidding. I love living here. Lemme know if you’re interested by leaving a comment on this post and I’ll get in touch with you privately via email.

"In the Water, They Touch"

Right?! You know you want to live here.


We get guh-REAT light throughout the whole unit

I’ll be honest – I’ll feel more comfortable renting the condo to someone who reads my blog (or is friends with someone who reads my blog) than a person I find on Craigslist, so anyone who gets in touch via The Beholder will be given preference. And probably some baked goods, too. And maybe some makeup.

March 30, 2009

Half-marathon training: Day 28

Yay! You guys, today I did the second-longest run of my LIFE! I thought five miles would kill me, but in the end, it didn’t feel that much longer than my shorter runs. And believe me, the weather today was NOT what you want to see when you’re gearing up for a tough athletic challenge:

A drippy, slushy icecicle.

A drippy, slushy icecicle.

That’s right, folks, it SNOWED last night. And not just any snow. The kind of heavy, wet snow that seeps into your shoes no matter how carefully you walk in the footprints of the brave souls who went before you. My dreams of completing this benchmark run along the lakefront shriveled up and died as soon as I looked out the window.

It's like I'm on the Lost island and I got transported back to January.

It's like I'm on the Lost island and I got transported back to January.

So, I screwed up the nerve to attempt my five-mile run on the treadmill. I knew it would take me 50-55 minutes, which is longer than an episode of 24, so I was nervous about getting bored. Dave was so sweet, though, and offered to come up and use one of the other cardio machines next to me so we could smile at each other in the mirrored wall.

There were two other people in the room when we arrived, which is a record! And a third person (who you’ll read about in a moment) joined us 25 minutes later. I guess the snow kept people indoors today. Anyway, something happened 30 minutes into my run. Something that forced me to run outside. Something that left me feeling confused and impotent. Something that, when I was clomping around the slushy outdoor track for the final two miles of my run, caused me to let loose a string of profanities so vulgar, so offensive, that I refuse to even hint at what I said. More on that in a second.

In the end, I got my five miles in and I feel pretty darn great about it. I’m happy to see my body adjusting and growing stronger. And I’m so, so lucky to have a fiance who came outside, into the crappity crap weather, to finish my hard workout with me and listen to me take cussing to a new level.

And now, for the incident. An open letter:

Dear Lady in my building’s workout room,

I just wanted to write and say thank you. You see, I’ve been living in Chicago for about six months now, and I’ve been completely shocked and dismayed by how friendly everyone here is. Honestly, I thought it was an epidemic. My faith in humanity began to dwindle: how can a city this big be completely full of kind people? Well you, my friend, have restored my trust in all that is good and right. There ARE assholes in Chicago after all.

March 28, 2009

Half-marathon training: Day 27

Today I was supposed to do 40 minutes of cross-training, but I went on a 90-minute dog walk with my friend Laura. I figure somewhere in there I got enough exercise, right? But, dude, CHECK OUT the type of dog she has:


That’s an English Setter. Her name is Ellie and walking her down the street was like walking with Reese Witherspoon. Every single person we passed stopped us and asked what type of dog she was (that’s what happens to Reese, too) (JUST KIDDING, she’s my fave actress and I completely idolize her!). Even when Ellie left a tootsie roll in some lady’s front yard, the lady just stepped off her porch and said, “What a pretty dog! You don’t have to worry about cleaning that up; the gardener will be here soon anyway.” Which leads me to believe that a) we were walking in a rich neighborhood, and b) if you have an English Setter, you can punch someone square in the nose and she’ll thank you for it before asking to pet your dog.

So, yeah, no bells ‘n’ whistles today about my training; I went on a long walk with a gorgeous dog and a lovely friend. The reason I’m glad I worked out today is because I got to hang with a well-mannered pooch for the morning and I also got to smile knowingly at everyone who complimented her, as if to say, “Yes, this is my dog; I’m just letting my friend here walk her, and THANK YOU, I also think that I am just as beautiful a human as she is a dog.”

March 28, 2009

Holy crumb.

Watch this. Then get back to me on how AWESOME it is and how you almost died with antici…PATION!


March 28, 2009


Oh man, you guys. Oh boy. I’m so excited. I’m literally panting with excitement. I finally had noticeable progress today!!!!

Are you ready to have your mind blown?



Lemme clarify that. I typically have two to two-and-a-half rolls on my stomach. They usually line up with where my six-pack would be, if I had one (pshaw, right). Please, to observe:

Here's a picture of my abs* with the rolls drawn on.

Here's a picture of my abs* with the rolls drawn on.

Do you like my belly button ring and acryllic nails? As you can see, I have two pronounced rolls at the top part of my abs, and then a slight “crease” in my skin where another roll is TRYING to form, but I won’t let it.

Well, this morning I was sitting on the couch with only my sports bra and shorts on, and I looked down…and roll #2 (the middle one) had MOVED! See, it used to swallow my bellybutton, so that when I was sitting in full roll formation, I couldn’t see my navel. This sucked, because I have an awesome ‘button – along with my calves, it’s my favorite part of my body. TODAY, though, I can SEE my precious little umbilical scar again! (Is that a gross name for it?) Roll #2 is still there, but it’s much more shallow and no longer hides the very best part of my abdomen. YAY!!! What’s more, I can’t be totally sure, but I swear that my abs look flatter from the side. Oh man you guys, this is the first time since I started this stupid training that I’ve actually been able to tell that my body is changing!

Ever since I did that ab post, I’ve been doing my ab routine about 3-4 times a week (I usually don’t go longer than 6 or 7 minutes at a time, though; don’t get all in a tizz thinking that you need to add an extra three hours of workout time to your routine). And I guess it’s paying off! What a great day this is. A great, great day.


*Okay, FINE, those are not my abs. Also not my boob job hanging out of the bottom of the sports bra.
March 28, 2009

Wiggs’s famous secret salad dressing

Whenever I make dinner for someone – without fail – if I serve a salad, the only thing I get compliments on is the dressing. But I’m not complaining. My salad dressing IS pretty amazing. 

My lunch, dressed in my amazing recipe

My lunch, dressed in my amazing recipe

So good is this dressing, that people who have had it come to me years later and ask how I made it. My bridesmaid/lovely friend, Lucy, even asked me this morning (this post is dedicated to you, Lucy!).

“Get on with the recipe, Wiggs, and stop bragging about how good it is,” you say. Well, I say, you need to understand that this is no ordinary salad dressing. You may never go back to the bottle again. What’s more, it’s totally adaptable to whatever flavors you’re looking for, so you can always modify it! SHAZZAM!

Even better, you more than likely have all of the ingredients you need, just sitting there in your kitchen, crying out to be made into a delicious dressing!

March 27, 2009

Half-marathon training: Day 26

Wow, I can’t believe it’s only been 26 days of this shizz. I must say, though, that right around Day 15 or so, this started feeling like a habit. As in, I didn’t have to wake up each morning and think, “Aw crap, am I really going to work out today? REALLY?” It’s not that I look forward to it every day, but it’s just become less of a choice and more of a natural part of my day. That’s good, right?

Unfortunately, though, all of this regular exercise has taken a toll on the ol’ face. I’m talking about blemishes, people. And I *think* I’ve figured out the culprit.

How can something so lovely be such a pain in my increasingly zitty face?

How can something so lovely be such a pain in my increasingly zitty face?

Look. This might be gross to some of you, but any swimmers out there will appreciate it.

March 27, 2009

Soaking dead plants in water is delicious

Just before my birthday, Molly caught me lusting over her adorable little tea set. You can imagine my delight when she surprised me with one of my very own on my Big Day. I was never one of those little girls who had fake tea parties with her stuffed animals and imaginary friends, so I guess my newfound obsession with all things tea-related is a latent instinct from my childhood.


Isn't it so CUTE?! Don't you want to force your friends to come over and make them watch you pour them tea and then make them clink cups with you and drink with their pinkies sticking up?!

The tea Molly brought is called Provence Vanilla Rooibos (or something like that; the handwriting is hard to read) from a shop in Seattle called Teacup. And holy mother, let me tell you about how good it is. Even my stuffed-up, useless nose can tell that the whole condo smells like honey and vanilla and flowers. (Isn’t it funny how when you’re congested, you can only smell certain scents? For me, it’s been this tea and the fresh mildew on my shower curtain – which I promptly cleaned with bleach that I couldn’t smell for the life of me.)

When I first decided to try my little trick of drinking a cup of tea when I feel hungry – just to make sure that I’m not craving food out of stress or boredom – I was a little worried that I’d feel like I was depriving myself. And, yeah, when I threw my musty bag of Lipton into the mug that I’d just zapped in the microwave, I did think, “Man, this is just NOT as good as the burger I’m craving right now.”

But how can you feel deprived when you get to play with this?!?!

But how can you feel deprived when you get to play with this?!?!

Something about the ritual (okay, I feel weird calling it that, but that’s what it is) of boiling the water, preparing my little tea thingy, pouring the water over it into my cup, and then squeezing just the right amount of honey…it’s definitely worth the extra 90 seconds or so. And I don’t feel deprived in the least. On the contrary, I feel pretty damn decadent. “Look at me! I’m so classy!” I think, while I let a HUGE belch rip and then laugh because it sounded like a bullfrog.

More often than not, my hunger is gone and I’m back to sitting at my computer, pretending to be a grownup.

Oh! And I guess you can order this flavor online!! Here’s the descriptsh:

Blended with not only the famous red leaf from South Africa and vanilla, but touches of lavender and chamomile and just a hint of hazelnut. We think you’ll find this the smoothest, most pleasing cup of rooibus tea you have ever had. A Teacup special, dedicated to all our customers that take the time to let us know what they are looking for.

I mean, yeah, it’s 36 bucks a pound, but a little goes a LOOOOONG way – I have eight ounces of the shizz and so far I’d estimate that I’ve had about 30 cups without even going through half of the bag. (Yes, that’s a LOT of tea but I’m SICK so cut me some SLACK.)