Gettin’ ready

Trader Joes calles their vitamin like "Trader Darwins" which I find hilar.

Trader Joe's calls their vitamins "Trader Darwin's," which I find hilar.

Look what I’ve been taking every day!

Okay, okay, you can stop hyperventilating and thinking that I’m trying to conceive a mini-Wiggs. No, babies are not on the schedule just yet. So what am I “gettin’ ready” for? My wedding, of course! My hair is my signature and I want it to be long and strong for my nuptuals. Alas, a few months ago I had a hair catastrophe, so I’ve got a lotta inches to grow between now and July.

My parents taught me to swallow vitamins by practicing with Tic-Tacs...but this puppy is WAY bigger than a Tic-Tac.

My parents taught me to swallow vitamins by practicing with Tic-Tacs...but this puppy is WAY bigger than a Tic-Tac.

Okay, back-story time. Last November, I signed up to go to a job fair in Chicago. I got a call a couple of days later from a producer of a-very-popular-morning-show-that-shall-remain-nameless saying that they wanted to feature me on their show. As part of that feature, they gave me a “makeover” that was supposed to “enhance” my “professional” “image.” All of these quotation marks are meant to signify the skepticism I have, in hindsight, about their motives. Basically, they got my hairstylist to bully me into chopping off my long, glorious locks of hair that I had been growing for the past 8 years. They didn’t really care about making me look better for my interviews; they just wanted a dramatic transformation that would translate well on t.v.

In their defense, my hair is still what one would consider “long.” But it’s not long for me. It’s not mermaid hair anymore. Here’s how it looked before:

Me and My One in college - my hair hadn't changed as of last November

Me and My One in college - my hair hadn't changed as of last November

And here’s how it looks now:

At an awesome Christmas sweater party with some of my girls

At an awesome Christmas sweater party with some of my girls

The fact that this was the only picture I could find of myself with my hair down since being on t.v. is an indication of how much I hate the haircut I got on that fateful November day. As you can see, they lopped off about a full 10 inches of hair. First of all, if I were going to chop off that much, I would have donated it to Locks of Love. Secondly, WTF???!!! They ended up airing the segment on ThanksGIVING, which NOBODY watched!

Wow, that was a tangent. Back to the topic at hand. I’m taking prenatal vitamins. My main reason for doing so is to make my hair grow faster, because that’s one of the side-benefits. Also, my nails could cut through glass right now – that’s how strong they’ve become.

The other cool thing about these vitamins is that they make my pee glow in the dark (remember that picture of my neon green Nalgene earlier this morning? Yeah. That color). So…all-around awesomeness! I love me some prenatals!

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4 Responses to “Gettin’ ready”

  1. Hi- I love your blog! ( learned about it on your mother’s blog). My daughter, Elizabeth, is getting married in September. I want her to read yours. I don’t know your URL. SOOOOOOOOOOO-

    Could you please send this to her–

    She will believe your blog, but if I told her to take pre-natal vitamins, she might not take it seriously.

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