Alright peeps, let’s hunker down and talk about something less frivolous, shall we? President Obama…HAHA JUST KIDDING, I’m not going to start talking about politics.
Here’s the deal: I’ve been going through some shizz lately and one thing that’s got my Hanky Pankies in a twist is the fact that there’s a bit of a stigma associated with talking about it. The result is that sometimes I feel alone in this ridonkulous experience I’m having. And I’m not going to take it sitting down!
So, after that way-too-huge buildup, I would like to share with you, my readers who are always nice to me except sometimes, that I have anxiety. Like, the bad kind. Wamp, wamp, who cares right? It’s taken me some time to realize that for people dealing with anxiety, “who cares” isn’t really the best answer.
Anxiety can manifest in a bajillion different ways, but it makes this little Wiggs feel like she’s swimming in Jell-O (only much less delicious and strawberry-flavored). I get stuck on the couch sometimes, unable to make myself do anything productive like change out of my pajamas or work out or turn off Real Housewives of NYC even though I’ve seen the episode three times already (TEAM BETHENNY!). And then the sleep disruption – gah. I wake up like six times a night believing down to my core that Dave and Baxter are dead, so I get up all creepy-stalker-like and feel their chests to make sure they’re still breathing. And don’t even get me started on my inability to concentrate.
My therapist (yep, I have a real-live therapist who lets me sit on her couch and talk about myself for an hour at a time!) says that my inability to take action is called “avoidance” and that it’s pretty common. Apparently all of those times I told myself, “WIGGS! Get off the couch and stop being lazy!” I was making things worse, because anxiety isn’t just laziness or procrastination; it’s a real issue that some people need extra help to overcome.
Which is annoying, because I’ve never heard of anyone who feels like this. But over the past couple of months, reading blogs like this one and this one, I’ve noticed that there are people – brave people who are open about it – going through their own crap.
And THEN! Yesterday at church (I’m not about to get all preachy on your ass, just hold on a sec) the pastor was talking about feeling “stuck” in life. I felt so much better just hearing someone acknowledge it that I resolved to buck up and tell you people about it. Because maybe you’re going through something similar. And even though I can’t really help you, I want you to know that you’re not alone, and you’re not a lame-ass just because you can’t force yourself out of it. I started a formspring for anyone who wants to know more about my own experiences. You can click that link and ask me any anonymous question (anxiety-related or not) and I’ll answer. Even mean ones.
This dude says:
…it is crucial that both scientific and lay communities work toward dispelling the myth that anxiety disorders are somehow less important — or worse, insignificant — in the vast landscape of psychiatric illnesses. We’re not talking about a normal response to stress here. Anxiety, when it develops into pathology, may be diagnosed as social phobia, separation anxiety, panic disorder, obsessive-compulsive disorder, generalized anxiety disorder, post-traumatic stress disorder, anorexia, and bulimia, among a host of other maladies.
Here are some helpful links, though if you think you’ve got anxiety disorder (or panic disorder, or depression, or anything really) you should consider talking to a professional who can give you specific strategies for getting your life back on track.
And then this awesome book (that is in dire need of a new title) given to me by my therapist
…annnnywayyy…I know this is definitely not why most of you read this blog, but on the off-chance that at least one of you would benefit I had to say something. And for those who this doesn’t apply to, at least you know why my posts have been so sporadic, right? And why I haven’t been working out or putting on makeup much, right? Right? Bueller?
(P.S. all of the photos in this post are recipes I will be posting soon. Also, are there any makeup-related requests out there? I can’t decide what to write about next.)