Alright, so – it’s H-ween and you’re getting dolled up as a slutty ______. A big part of being a slutty ______, though, is wearing slutty makeup. Incidentally, this is how much makeup I wear regularly…but oh well. I’m a classy broad and I pull it off.

Smoky eyes are a slutty ______’s nom de plume, if you will. The trubs is, though, that most people look like they got punched in the face when they attempt this look. That’s why I like to modify it a bit, take out some of the more difficult techniques, and make it customizable depending on the colors you prefer to wear. The good news is that my method shouldn’t take you more than 15 minutes, and you can really do it with just four eyeshadow colors.

I did today’s look with purple and navy blue (and then some green in the corner for some H-ween fun) so you can see exactly where I placed each shade. I’ll tell you what you could substitute along the way, but feel free to experiment. The main thing to keep in mind is that you need 1) a light, shimmery color, 2) a medium shade that will be the main color of your look, 3) a deep black or brown matte shadow for lining, and 4) a deep, shimmery color for blending the liner.

Let’s get BOO it, shall we? (HAHAHAHAHA I AM HILARIOUS!)

Step 1: Cut a hole in the box. Get a light, shimmery eyeshadow – one that’s long-lasting – and put it all over your upper lid, blending toward your eyebrow. Plop some under your lower lashes, too. For good measure.

[Alternate color options: shimmery white, gold, pink, peach, or really anything that doesn't actually look like much of a color once it's on.]

Step 2: Grab your medium shade. I chose a bright, shimmery purple that can be found in Tarte’s Femme Fatale eye palette. This is a GREAT palette if you’re a little more experimental with color and like to have lots of options. Using a fluffy, angled brush, blend a generous amount of color from the outer corner up into the crease, and fade it toward the inner corner of your eye. The key to avoiding the punched-in-the-face look is to leave your inner corner pretty clean. I also have round eyes (my family calls them “googly” eyes) so I always blend my eyeshadow past my outer corner a bit, too.

[Alternate color options: gray, shimmery brown, rich turquoise, deep bronze or gold, pink, yellow...]

Here are pictures with and without flash (I promise I’m going to get a better camera soon, cross my heart.)

Oh, and don’t mind my eyebrow zit. THANK you, MAC eyeshadow (seriously, folks, if you have blemish-prone skin, skip MAC. It’s not a good brand, no matter how flashy their marketing campaigns).

Step 3: Line your top lashes with black matte eyeshadow, using an angled brush (not pictured, but you’ve seen it before here). Go ahead and do a thick line, and don’t worry too much about making it look perfect. Again, because of my googly eyes I winged my top liner out a bit.

[Alternate color options: dark brown, dark gray, navy blue, or anything that looks almost black. But seriously, why not just go for black? I don't understand this philosophy that fair women shouldn't wear black. I do it all the time and people drop dead on the street from how stunningly beautiful I am.]

Step 4: Use a flat, soft brush and pick up just a teeeeeeny tiny bit of the navy eyeshadow and blend the edge of your top liner. This is where you should be pretty careful – you want the liner to fade upward, but you don’t want to carry color all the way up your eyelid. Also, blend more of the navy into your outer corner and pull it up into your crease – this will serve the double purpose of giving you a smoky look AND avoiding that dark smudge that you sometimes get on your brow bone when you’re wearing a lot of eyeliner.

[Alternate color options: very dark gray or brown, blue, deep green...]

Here’s with and without flash again. Apparently no flash sometimes gives me a weird pink growth on my forehead and nose. Lovely:

Step 5: Switching back to your black matte eyeshadow, smudge it onto your waterline (inside of your lower lashes). Without re-dipping your brush, smudge more into the very base of your lower lashes. When doing this, your brush should stay on TOP of your lower lashes. Otherwise you’ll get too much liner under your eye and look like a raccoon. Then, wipe off the brush you used to blend the navy on your top lashes and get some purple on it. Smudge this color over the black under your lashes – here you can put the brush beneath the lashes because the color isn’t as intense.

I messed with saturation so you can see exactly where the purple ended up:

Here’s with flash:

Step 6: So, if you want to, you can now put on a crapload of mascara (top and bottom) and call it a day. I like to go over my black liner on the top, just for good measure, but that’s optional. You can also jazz things up by putting a shimmery, bright color on the inner corner of your eye. Today I went with green by layering bareMinerals Magnetize and Firelight eyeshadows, then topping it off with Urban Decay Heavy Metal Glitter Liner in Mullet.

[Alternate color options: bright yellow, turquoise, gold, hot pink, orange, purple, silver, or white.]

Voila! Slutty makeup, done right. Keep the rest of your face pretty neutral – I used a soft pink blush and a beige pink lip gloss. I should note that I used a pretty light hand with my smoky eye today. If you want even more dramz, just go bolder, darker, and more intense. In particular, let the liner on your top lid get pretty thick – almost too thick – and don’t be shy about blending it into the crease. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: the key to good makeup is wearing more than you think you need.

Okay, so before you go make yourself look gorge, tell me in the comments what you’re doing to be this H-ween. I’m keeping my costume a surprise, but it will involve all-gold makeup (I am SO. EXCITED.)

Here is a photo I took of my whole face, since I realize it sucks to just look at my eyeballs up close. Please keep the following in mind: I had just returned from a workout, I was hurrying, and I was thinking to myself, “SMILE!” but then I was all distracted because Dave was gluing fake fangs to his teeth in the kitchen. If I were less lazy I’d take another…but…eh. You guys don’t care. Anyway. That’s why I’ve got the ditzy expression and frizzy hair and slightly sweaty aura about me. AND I’ve got those annoying “I’m taking a photo of my own face” shoulders. Sorry. I’ll try to do better next time.